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Review – Bikin Girls on Ice

December 9, 2012 in Buck, DVD/Bluray, Movie Reviews, Movies, Video/TV

Year: 2009

Genre: Horror/Thriller

Runtime:82mins

Rating: Unrated

IMDB Score: 3.1/10 (400+ Votes)

Director(s): Geoff Klein

Writer(s): Geoff Klein and Jeff Ross

Plot/Synopsis:

A bus full of womens college soccer players get stranded on their way to a bikini car-wash fundraiser, they decide to set-up shop in front of an abandoned gas station on the edge of town. Little do they know the place is the stalking-grounds for a homicidal maniac.

Forethought(s):

There is no way this movie doesn’t have tits,ass,blood & gore. I’m also thinking that this isn’t a serious horror movie.

Fun Fact/Trivia:

The movie is based off of a dream that one of the friends of the director had.

Stars of the movie: Cindel Chartrand,Danielle Doetsch and William Jarand

The Breakdown:

TTFK(Time To First Kill) was just under six minutes and it was not impressive at all. An ax coming down on a chick’s head but we don’t see that,nope,what we see is the ax coming down half way then blackness. I’m not a fan of this and less so when it’s the first damn kill in the movie. It really sets the tone.

3T(Total Titty Time) for a movie called Bikini Girls On Ice you would wager that there would be some naked boobs at some point and you would be right,however,what you would be wrong on is just how much naked boobs there. There is less then 10 seconds of clothe-less breast. And what’s worse is that they aren’t full on melon shots,nope not at all,what they do is shoot the tits from the side and switch angles to much. So if you were hoping for a skin flick this is not it.

There was a total of eight confirmed kills and one implied one for a grand total of nine. Not a bad number at all. There’s a but coming on isn’t there Buck? Yes,yes there is Buckroos. But we only really see one kill happen while the rest are much like the first one,the weapon comes at the vic and then blackness it’s later on when we see the bodies. The one that we actually see was pretty neat. It was a simple slicing of the throat but there wasn’t enough blood if you ask me for that. While on the subject of blood;there was a fair amount of it but really only on the people during the aftermath and not during the actual killing so that was a bit of a bummer. Meaning no real squirting.

There is one thing that really pisses me off about this movie. The killer, well more to the point the noises he makes. This dude doesn’t say a single word in the whole movie. All this dude does is grunt and make heavy breathing noises that a chick would hear on a 2 A.M phone call from a drunk ex. It was such a bugger. And you can tell those noises were put in at post because none of the actors reacted to the noises. This was not a quite man by any means but all the actors just stood there looking around when Marlee Matlin could fucking hear him. Oh and another thing about the killer. This dude does not die but he is 100% human. The fucker took an ice pick through the eye,two shotgun blast from short range,a crow bar to the head and the one that pisses me off behind belief is a knife being thrown right into the carotid artery in his neck. What does he do? Simple he just pulls it out and acts like nothing happened. There’s other stuff but I’ll leave it up to you to get pissed off first hand if you choose to watch this flick.

The acting was all over the place and that’s all I’m saying on that.

This was not a scary movie by any means,shoot,in fact it’s more of a joke than anything,oh and get this,the movie took itself way to seriously. Over seriously almost.

The Verdict:

Not enough tits, blood or gore for a movie whose premise is bikini clad babes washing cars. Poor editing and writing choices make this a hard movie to watch but shockingly this flick had some really good cam work. Nothing out of the normal technical wise,just good ole sturdy cam work. Don’t waste your time with this movie.

I give this movie 2 one piece swimsuits out of 5.

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Chapter 2 of HorrorFix Press’ Nine Tenths Now Available!

December 9, 2012 in Books, Comics/Books, Exclusives

Horror Fix, the horror movie news and review site is expanding its focus to include the publishing of horror novels and horror themed comic books. To celebrate this bold new direction they have decided to give away their first full-length novel free to visitors. Nine Tenths is the first novel from Horror Fix author Ash Hamilton.

In a world on the brink of destruction from demonic forces, a ragtag group of survivors travel across the remains of the United States in search of anything that can even the odds against their hellish pursuers.

Chapter 2 shifts focus to a larger group of refugees who are learning more about the difficulties of staying alive and holding on as the possessed come to add more numbers to their ranks.

You can download the second chapter, Refuge, here.

Exclusive Interview – The Corridor’s Evan Kelly

December 9, 2012 in Exclusives, Interview

The Corridor hits DVD shelves everywhere today and director Evan Kelly was able to take a moment out of his schedule to talk to us here at HorrorFix about the film, his own phobias and the dynamics that go into telling a great story. The film, which has been hailed as “Awesome… evocative of Stephen King and Donnie Darko”, can be purchased directly from Amazon hereand at retail stores everywhere.

Listen to the full interview here.

Exclusive Interview – The Corridor’s Evan Kelly

 
 
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Review – The Corridor

December 9, 2012 in Ash Hamilton, DVD/Bluray, Movie Reviews, Movies, On Demand, Video/TV

The Corridor is an interesting film as horror films go. Even as a small film it is undeniable that it is a creature of ambitious efforts. Fortunately, these efforts pay off to the tune of delivering the audience a disturbing and rare portrayl of what happens when the extraordinary brings out the unusual and utltimately the worst in a group of friends whose circle is dangerously close to splintering from very real pressures of the earthly kind.

The Corridor follows 5 men whose boyhood friendships have persisted into adulthood and who individually are still struggling to find their places in the grown-up world. Their roles are further questioned when a member of the group, Tyler (Stephen Chambers), loses his mother under suspiscious circumstances that leaves Chris (David Patrick Fleming) injured and questioning the sanity of his life-long friend.

In an effort to reconnect and help Tyler in the emotionally grueling process of laying his mother’s ashes to rest, the 5 men decide to plan a boys’ retreat to the cabin they spent so much time in in their youths. Tyler, grappling with his dimentia (an aftershock of the ordeal with his mother) makes a discovery in the woods that will threaten the sanity and the lives of the rest of the group.

The real terror in The Corridor is more subversive than the obvious antagonist and the depth of the film’s themes skirt on the edges of such cult favorites as Fight Club, Donnie Darko and some of Lynch’s more surreal efforts. The threat isn’t so much the enigmatic force in the woods as it is the enigma that is silently killing the group from the inside: Who are you when you lack purpose? How do we define ourselves in a world that denies us definition? It is the the corridor itself that empowers the group and seems only to magnify their own personal problems into full blown psychosis.

Although this might seem a little heady for the casual watcher, TC speaks to those of us who saw our role models revealed as villains, saw our fathers too humanized to remain out heroes and ultimately left us in a world without warrior poets looking forward to jobs we despise and positions in life that rarely treat us with any real moments of fulfillment. It is this alarmingly emotional character study of the grup that elevates the Corridor to a film that actually surpasses its intent. For the horror fan The Corridor delivers some truly disturbing scenes of torture and madness driven degradation that sticks with you long after the credits begin to roll. It is in these moments that we see a group of actors that have struck their rhythm and deliver on all levels of the script, from the intense loss and longing to the stark insanity that characterizes the latter half of the picture. Director Evan Kelly has hit the ground running and I for one am eagerly looking forward to his next effort.

Highly recommended.

The Corridor is currently paying in limited theatrical release and on VOD everywhere. Contact your local cable provider for details.

 

Review – The Cabin in the Woods

December 9, 2012 in Ash Hamilton, DVD/Bluray, Movie Reviews, Movies, Video/TV

Some movies are easier to review than others, naturally. Reviewing a bad movie can come effortlessly at times, while reviewing a movie that has disappointed or even left me undecided can be a labor. The Cabin in the Woods is a dificult film to review for many reasons. I’ll start by saying that you probably haven’t seen anything like it. If you think you have, then I would love a ticket to the mythical place that you wake up in each morning where cows milk themselves into chocolate goblets and girlfriends, instead of complaining, shit video games, malt liquor and logic. Quite simply, in a world where very little is new, Cabin manages to be crisp and refreshing while using the same conventions that have characterized the genre industry for decades. Its hard to review something that creates its own categories, and, in essence redefines those that it once might have personified.

Cabin is metafiction, satire, homage and critique. It is self aware, innocent, smart, cliche and overall very, VERY satisfying.  What is also going to come as a surprise after reading this is that Cabin in the Woods represents a horror movie that many will not call a horror movie, yet, if a horror fan were to write a checklist of everything they would love to see in a film, Cabin is going to walk away with a smug grin.
To start with its premise is to undermine the crux of Cabin’s resourceful inventiveness. To be fair though lets just say that five college students set off on a weekend trip to a remote cabin…and then everything that you think happens does… AND doesn’t. Cabin doesn’t pull the rug out from under you or grab Charlie Brown’s footbal moments before he kicks it. Instead, it grabs the rug and then uses it to beat the hell outta the whole Peanuts gang while you hold on for dear life.
Highly recommended.

Review – Abolition

December 9, 2012 in Movie Reviews, Movies

Abolition is about Joshua(Andrew Roth), a man in his late-20s who finds himself homeless after being laid-off from his janitorial job. He is soon rescued by Michael (Reggie Bannister), a former priest and current landlord of an apartment complex. Michael gives Joshua a janitorial job and Joshua begins to develop a relationship with Mia (Elissa Dowling), a married tenant of the complex. But as Joshua tries to get back on his feet, the people around him start dropping dead, and Joshua is the common factor between them.

Within the first scene, my interests were intrigued- a teenage girl wakes to find that her nightgown and bed sheets are covered in a strange, sickening goo, and that she is mysteriously pregnant. This scene was probably my favorite, and sadly, the most intriguing. Actress Tiffany Browne does an incredible job portraying the sheer terror anyone in her position must feel. Her panicked, yet trance-like movements and expressive, almost crazy-looking eyes hold so much emotion that I found myself desperate to find out what happens to her.

However, she has no further scenes. Despite good work from the actors (though perhaps a bit over-dramatic at times) the plot was uninteresting, slow-moving and  unspectacular.  the movie is half-way over before anything else grabbed my attention, and even then, I was more shocked by the gore and buckets of blood being thrown around than really interested in what was happening. Perhaps the film would have kept me interested if the plot moved a bit faster and if director Mike Klassen had been more daring and exciting with the angles of his shots.

There were a few noteworthy points that were interesting, (though admittedly, few and far between):

  1. Joshua’s mother – actress Caroline Williams portrays a strange woman slipping slowly into madness
  2. Williams and Roth do a great job making the situation tense, awkward, and subtly sinister.
  3. Bannister gave an incredibly emotionally charged performance that slightly over-shadowed an emotionally-shallow Roth.

Though not terrible, this movie was certainly under-developed. With the Anti-Christ theme being as over-done as it is, it is crucial for movie makers to find ways to make the same basic story interesting, and unfortunately, the makers of Abolition were not up to the task.

Review Submitted by Contributor Samantha Minasola

Exclusive Interview – Drew Daywalt on Leprechaun’s Revenge

December 9, 2012 in Exclusives, Interview, Television, Video/TV

We love ourselves some Drew Daywalt over here at Horror Fix so when we found out that the Camera Obscura and Fear Factory director was tackling the St. Paddy’s Day themed Leprechaun’s Revenge over at SyFy we tracked the fearmeister down to answer some of our questions! HF: Leprechaun’s Revenge seems like a very interesting choice for you. I’ve read interviews that say this is a SyFy film that feels like a parody of a SyFy film. Is the film’s self awareness intentional or just a pleasant surprise? DD: Great question. I think it was a pleasant surprise for a lot of people who hadn’t worked with me before. When I read the script, it screamed out to be funny. It was begging to be fun and light. And the cast and my crew agreed on that point. It’s a monster that’s a leprechaun, for crying out loud, so it wanted to be fun. We had a great time with creature design and really tried for a total reinvention of that, so, you know, it wouldn’t be a regurgitation of other things we’ve already seen. I wanted a sort of quirky modern dark fairy tale. There’s an etherial lightness to the film, even now, and an offbeat sense of humor to it. I saw that from early on, and just steered the ship in that direction. HF: Of course, the Leprechaun series of films is synonymous with the subject matter. Was there a conscious effort going in to separate this film as much from that franchise as you could? DD: Yeah, believe it or not I’ve never seen any of those films. (Let me duck for a second while my horror brethren pelt me with feces and rotten fruit) . But my sensibility is not to go that campy or wacky or silly. We walk that line a few times in this film, and there’s a wonderful schlockiness to what we did, but it’s more in the spirit of William Castle and Jack Arnold than trash cinema that’s laughable to watch. It’s very self conscious. Creature design was a big part of veering away from the big franchise, and so was the depth of the mythology. Even in something as light as this, I wanted to create a world with some history to it that seemed just a little bit believable.

HF: Coming off of Camera Obscura and the Fear Factory shorts, as a director, did you have to redefine yourself to approach Leprechaun’s Revenge and incorporate more humorous elements?
DD: A little bit, yeah. For sure. But I’ve also done some darkly humorous horror at DFF with films like BEDFELLOWS, MY NAME IS KRIS KRINGLE and LAUNDROMAT), as well as the horror comedy series DEATH VALLEY that I just did for MTV. I’ve been told that I have that rare DNA strand that lets me be frightening one moment, then scary the next, and sometimes, albeit rarely both at the same time. Which I guess is the creative equivalent of sneezing and farting at the same time… I don’t know what that meant. It seemed funny in my head.
HF: Jeff Farley has always impressed us with the originality behind his creature designs. How much input did you have behind the design for the creature in the film?
DD: Jeff is my slave and does what I tell him. (Tell him I said that and watch his expression).
HF: Everything you’ve done, from your shorts to the episodic Camera Obscura has such a cinematic feel. Were you worried about being able to represent that creative stamp in a TV movie?
DD: Syfy actually asked me to bring that. They said they didn’t want it to feel like a TV movie at all. They said to go for it. They wanted this to have a large, cinematic feel and I really tried my best (on the 15 day shoot) to deliver that. I tend to strongly dislike the look of most TV movies, you know – shooting everything in an ugly master and moving on, so hopefully I was able to make something that felt and looked a little bigger. I’ll let you guys be the judge of that.
HF: As a bald man, Billy Zane is a personal hero of mine… is the “dome” as glorious in person?
DD: It’s even more glorious in person. And he owns that motherfucker. And I hate him because even bald and in a frumpy-ass sheriff uniform and beat-up old fedora, he looks sexier than I ever will. And I hate him even more because he’s such a great guy too, so I don’t get to even really hate him right. He’s too nice. Too sexy. Too talented. Fucker.
HF: Lastly, if you could leave the audience with one message going into Leprechaun’s Revenge, what would it be?
DD: When you see the leprechaun, drink!
We wanna thank Drew for taking the time to answer some of our questions and get us up to speed before Leprechaun’s Revenge airs this Saturday, March 17th,  at 9/8c. http://www.syfy.com/movies/view/174
Keep up the good work Drew and Jeff!!!

Review – The Woman in Black

December 9, 2012 in DVD/Bluray, Movie Reviews, Movies, Video/TV

There has always been a place in my heart for the horror movies of Britain’s legendary Hammer Studios. Long before my brain was able to attach the iconic black and white visages of Karloff and Lugosi to their literary counterparts, it had the likes of Lee and Cushing to usher my childhood interests into the very adult realm of horror. I relished the hyperrealistic sets and stern British countenance on the faces of its thespians. To me, Hammer was the quintessential maker of nightmares. As I grew older my fondness never waned, only my appreciation for its predecessors as I included Universal into my lexicon of all time greats. In this world of oversaturated torture porn, teen slasher and found footage flicks, the days of Hammer seem long removed and all but forgotten. The studios now tend to scream “boo!” before you even turn the corner, instead of stalking you like the great ones did. So, it was with great excitement, and a little bit of trepidation, that I celebrated the return of Hammer. The Resident, although a nice thriller, seemed like a trial run. Wakewood, however, saw the new Hammer stretching its legs, and, then we were treated to a nice little trailer for a new production called The Woman in Black. Now THIS…THIS… was starting to look like Hammer. The costumes, the sets, the story, they all screamed a return to form for the Studio. Add in Daniel Radcliffe, right off of his titular stint as one of the most recognizable modern literary characters turned to celluloid, and I was excited. Many modern horror films could take a cue from this film because it delivers. It delivers on all the promises of Hammer’s classics and gives us a fable that while it could exist in the same period as its progenitors, never feels tired or outdated. With no heavy reliance of CGI or other modern conventions, the film itself in both setting and production has a timeless feel to it. The story follows Arthur Kipps, a young man whose tragic loss of his wife has left him on the outs with his employer and in a last ditch effort to save his career agrees to take assignment collecting and ordering the affairs of a deceased family whose lives were also beset with tragedy. Tragedy is the crux of this story and is the driving force behind the supernatural evil that threatens to take the life of every child surrounding the derelict estate sinking in the marshes outside the small town. Upon arrival, the town and its residents see Kipps as an outsider that can only threaten to worsen their accursed lives. After several attempts to get the young man to leave, Kipps resolve is only strengthened and he enters the estate, not knowing what awaits him. THIS, the “haunted house” portion of the films is extremely effective and sets up every scare with just enough foreboding to make you squirm waiting for the reveal. It is in this that Radcliffe also shows us how his skills outside of the Potter franchise come to him as effortlessly as they did throughout the series. Mournful, inquisitive, stubborn and grievous, Radcliffe’s turn as the young accountant is note perfect, as is the long list of character actors that accompany him. Kipps survives the night, ultimately becoming a believer in the local legend of the “woman in black” and begins to unravel the mystery behind her otherwordly pain and bloodlust for revenge. To say that his quest is a grim and dour one is an understatement and an already dark film becomes to plum the depths of darkness. It is the tone and overall atmosphere of WIB that truly brands it a Hammer film. From the claustrophobic feel of the small besieged town to the alien, yet beautiful mansion on the moors, WIB uses its paintbrush wisely, painting landscapes that are as foreign as they are familiar. Our spectral antagonist proves to be worthy of her reputation and the scares where where she is central do not disappoint either. The evil in WIB has motives, and a thirst for revenge that is not easily slaked. It is this too that makes WIB so effective. Neither are we given a mutant hillbilly with cannibalistic hunger or an unstoppable supernatural stalker with preternatural strength and an idiot savante’s knack for outwitting teenagers. We are instead given a force that feeds on loss, regret and ultimately revenge. With a great cast, oodles of atmosphere and plenty of scares, The Woman in Black shows that Hammer can still hit the nail on the head.

Review – Evidence

December 9, 2012 in Ash Hamilton, DVD/Bluray, Movie Reviews, Movies, Video/TV

Evidence is a film that will leave many people divided. In fact, Evidence is a film that I guarantee most horror fans won’t leave on past twenty minutees. You see, it is that first twenty minutes that will undecidedly prove what most horror fans already know about three quarters of the DTV fair they see: that they’ve seen it all before. THAT might be exactly what filmmakers Howie Askins and Ryan McCoy are counting on, because the first twenty minutes of Evidence might be one of the biggest red herrings in recent horror history. We are immediately treated to a quartet of late teen/ early twenty something actors from the onset of Evidence that are straight out of a build-it-yourself slasher kit. These kids, like most horror fodder, make all the wrong moves at all the wrong times ensuring their peril becomes our entertainment. Shot in full “found footage vision” we follow these meatbags around as they hike, drink, fight and flash their way into our hearts, all to the backdrop of mysterious goings-on in the forest around their tents (yes, they even elect to sleep in these tents despite having an RV a mere quarter mile down the trail). Some of this, in fact, is done so deliberately that I can’t help but to feel as though the first act itself is almost a movie-within-a-movie; movements that are so familiar to us that we take the tried and true Ten Little Indians formula that horror gleefully exploits for granted and we start to just sleepwalk through the motions. I’m not saying that Evidence is a high brow piece of meta fiction mind you, but it manages an air of self awareness that you can’t help but think was present from the first frame. THIS is how Evidence manages to pull the rug out from under you with such break neck speed that by the time the credits roll you’re wondering if someone hijacked the production midway through. But I digress…soon the gang realizes they are not alone and are assaulted by shrill otherworldly screams that seem to circle them from the darkness. We do get some nice tense moments here as the audio behind the screams is pretty damn eerie. Well, before we know it our party is down by two and our female leads are fearing for their lives. We might want to put our bug-shit crazy glasses on at this point as this is exactly the road Evidence starts to barrel down with reckless abandon. Evidence is able to actually push the found footage approach to an extent where the final act is maybe one of the best uses of POV we have seen in a horror movie. I could go on to give you a play by play of Evidence’s what-the-fuck moments in its final minutes, but what the fuck…exercise some restraint and see Evidence through to the end. Recommended

Review – Panic Button

December 9, 2012 in Ash Hamilton, DVD/Bluray, Movie Reviews, Movies, Video/TV

Panic button is a great representation of how a small movie with an even smaller cast can come across as a film with a much bigger scope than its means. It also represents a very real threat to us here in the digital age and that means a very real, palpable horror as well. Panic button centers on four characters, each from different walks of life, who find themselves the winners of a social network site’s contest that puts them on a private jet headed straight to the big apple for an all expense paid vacation of fun in the US. Right away, our all British cast almost gurantees a well rounded crew of capable actors (Not to digress here, but how many British productions do you see that have less than adequate acting chops among their central thespians? Scones and acting… those Brits bring their A-game). After brief introductions in the airport, our winners board their ride and are almost immediately treated to a game of ” who’s the biggest scumbag” MC’d by an on-board computer representing All2Gethr, the social network site that is soon to become the film’s antagonist. It is here that the real horror of Panic Button shows its pearly whites. Horror is more than the killer in the closet, the monster under the bed or the maniac with a master plan to prove his demented philosophies to his victims. Horror is around us, laying in wait, packaged as a nice slick service that connects us to our friends all the while nearing closer to our jugular with a serrated blade. Panic Button might leave a lot of horror fans thinking that the film is a little message heavy, but its point is poignant and topical enough that it doesn’t feel forced. It reminds us that we are too quick to give up our freedoms and our privacies in a virtual word that is just as risky as the corporeal one. Our characters find this out quickly as their private lives and their misadventures are forced into view in front of them and their peers as the sadistic game unfolds. We soon learn that each character has their own secrets and as each are seperated from the group, they are given ultimatums from their host that could mean a grisly end for their friends and loved ones should they not meet its demands. I am a sucker for character studies, movies that move along by reaching into the past and allowing us to follow the backstories of its characters. Panic Buton is adept in doing this, withut using the conventinal means of flashbacks and grainy black and white footage. It manages to do so inface while propelling the present timeline forward and in doing so pushes it running time forward at a break-neck speed. If PB has any fault it is that it is almost too successful in exploring the depravity of its characters, leaving us looking for a hero, but luckily still engaged enough to let it slip by. These are characters that even when we are appaled by them, we realize that it s the human condition that it is their afliction and we must concede to our own introspection, allowing us to forgive them just enough to wish for their redemption. I could not help but to be reminded of the first Saw as I watched Panic Button. It has a tone and intent that mirrors the franchise starter and leads me to believe that this was only the first button to be pushed and that with a solid DTV audience, we can hope to see a little more panic in the future.

Panic Button is available on DVD and Bluray. Check your local retail store for pricing and availability.

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