I sit down in the theater. A couple ads for other films roll on the screen. Some good. Some bad. Then, a hypnotic image flashes across the screen: A beautiful, foggy autumn morning. We see four people with bags over their heads and nooses around their necks - a father, mother, and two children. The nooses are draped over one branch and tied to another branch that is being sawed through from above by an unseen figure. The branch eventually snaps and as it falls the family is raised into the air, where they hang and die. It was then that I thought... “Damn... this Hotel Transylvania movie is harsh!”. All kidding aside (since there isn't much kidding in this film), Sinister is certainly one of those films that will either completely suck you in with it's opening shots, or you will walk out 45 seconds in.

After we are treated to the Super 8 snuff film, we are introduced to Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke), and his family. Ellison is a true crime writer, which of course makes him really popular with the local law enforcement. Problem is he hasn't had a good book in a decade. His wife (Juliet Rylance) fears he is a one-hit wonder and the two bicker from time to time about his declining fame, to say nothing of finances. But he convinces her that his next book will put him back on the map and that the story will be huge. And he's right... then he is wrong for the rest of the film.

She asks if they have just moved a couple houses away from where some horrible crime took place. He says no. He isn't lying. They are living IN the house where a horrible crime took place. Before you can say poltergiest, Ellison comes across a box with a projector and some assorted super 8 film reels. They are marked innocently enough: Hanging Out, Sleepy Time, BBQ, Pool Party, and Lawn Work. He waits till everyone is asleep and starts what has to be the sickest movie marathon put on film. Turns out the titles are sadistic but comic descriptions of ritual murders. For example, Pool Party features a family being tied to lawn chairs and pulled one by one into the pool where they drown, BBQ shows another family being chained up inside their car and set on fire, etc. It is the scenes where Hawke subjects himself and the audience to these murders that the film really shines.

Ellison's kids start acting weird. His son develops night terrors. His daughter starts painting morbid illustrations on the walls. And his wife begs and pleads him to move the family back home. He refuses to until he can crack the mystery of who the satanic videographer is. Especially when he catches a glimpse of the yellow faced figure in one of the videos. This figure is eventually revealed to be some kind of Babylonian Boogeyman but his origins are not important. The fact is that what makes the character so scary is the lack of info we are given on him... That and he looks like a f*cked up Willie Wonka (The screenwriter's words. Not mine.)

"...the film becomes wildly scary"

From here on in, the film becomes wildly scary. Even the jumps scenes leave you disturbed. The images on the tapes (combined with Christopher Young's Reznor-ish score) will not leave your mind after the film ends and nothing is certain or safe. Hawke is certainly the key performer in the picture. His facial expressions while watching the footage of the murders mirrors those of the audience so perfectly that we can forgive him when he constantly makes bad choices. The supporting actors fare well also, particularly Jason Ransone as a Barney Fife type deputy and the always stellar Vincent D'Onofrio as a professor who eventually is able to enlighten Ellison on who the mysterious figure in the tapes could be.

It has been four days since I saw the film and I still can't get the eerie murder tapes out of my mind. One terrific jolt involving a lawn mower is worth the price of admission alone. The film also ends with a “Ringu” type twist that will disturb audiences to their core. As far as horror films go, there is usually only one or two really good ones each year. After watching Sinister, I can safely say there won't be a better ghost story on film for a while. And that includes the God-Awful Paranormal Activity films. Please let this film and Insidious be the beginning of the return to kick-ass ghost stories! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Tags: , Ethan Hawke, Scot Derrickson, Sinister

I’m proudly Finnish, so I wanted to write about a masterpiece of Finnish horror, Sauna. Now, Finnish horror is not a term you hear in everyday conversation. That’s because Finnish horror is not really a thing. Which in turn means that being a masterpiece of Finnish horror doesn’t really mean anything. But let me tell you, Sauna is a masterpiece. I’m very, very picky when it comes to Finnish movies; I hardly like any of them. Sauna I do like. In this post I’ll tell you why.

Knut and Eerik are on a mission to outline a new border after a war that was waged between Sweden and Russia. Since Finland was part of Sweden back then, Finland was involved in the war. But I won’t bore you with the historical details any further (although I myself am quite partial to historical details) since this is not a boring history movie. Knut and Eerik’s journey is shadowed by the memory of doing a dreadful deed along the way: killing a father and leaving his daughter to rot in a basement in the middle of nowhere. Eventually they happen across a mysterious village that boasts a special kind sauna. This sauna radiates an enigmatic atmosphere that shrouds all the residents under its pious aura. This is a sauna where you go to atone for you sins.

Hang on, a sauna? How can a sauna have anything to do with atonement? I should mention that while you’re all very familiar with saunas and it’s not a special Nordic mystery anymore, there’s more to saunas than just naked sweating and beer drinking (or relaxation and pore cleansing, if you’re into a healthier lifestyle). In the olden days in Finland, a sauna was a spiritual place, almost like a peculiar chapel. When you gave birth, your newborn  was washed in the sauna. When you died, you body was washed in the sauna. It was a sacred place, a place for rites of passage, where the soul entered and exited the realm of the living.

Sauna the movie is proper scary, which really surprised me when I first saw it. The only feeling a Finnish movie had ever awoken in me was depression and gloom (except for a few glorious comedy movies made in the nineties). While Sauna has the same Finnish signature atmosphere of depression and gloom, it works well with the transcendental and psychological terror that slowly creeps up on Knut and Eerik. And let’s face it, Finland in the 1500s was a gloomy and depressing place. So, gloom and depression are very much legitimate in this movie. Now I shall move on and try to write a sentence without the words “gloom” and “depression” in it.

What really impressed me on the first viewing of Sauna were the ghosty characters. I say ghosty characters, because they’re not exactly ghosts, and there’s absolutely no explanation given in the movie as to what they exactly are. And that’s just brilliant. I love not getting explanations. Sometimes not getting explanations means humongous plot holes and all around a crappy screenplay, but in this case it magnified the horror tenfold and preserved the mystery of the sauna, just as it should do. Enough is explained, and just the right amount is left unexplained. Because of this, your average Finn with their own sauna will get to enjoy elevated blood pressure, chills and paranoia every time they enter it, which is a sign of a job well done.

Ghosty characters and mystical saunas aside, there’s something truly terrifying about a gaunt, pertinacious Finnish man. I mean, just look at Ville Virtanen (Eerik) in this movie. His unyielding face makes me recoil in whimpering panic. His stare makes me doubt myself and everything I’ve ever achieved in life. His severe disposition makes me melt into an insignificant puddle of petrified goo. It’s not your usual “I’m an angry scary man” –effect; Eerik is a broken, war-weary man who just wants to go home. His terror stems from deep trauma combined with short temper and absolute authority. He’s like a mini villain on his road to penance. I can’t believe I’m saying this about a Finnish character in a Finnish movie, but here goes: what a juicy character.

There you have it, my thoughts on a Finnish horror movie. I have to admit, Sauna owes a lot of its scare tactics to Asian horror. But the rest of the movie is purely Finnish. There’s nothing quite like Finnish melancholy, and this movie depicts it and harnesses it perfectly: once I got over the ghosty scaries it became clear to me that the real horror of the movie is the notion of having to carry your sins with you. That’s a thought that sticks, since the audience can relate (even if the sins of the audience aren’t as serious as Knut and Eerik’s). That’s also a melancholic thought if there ever was one.

“Sen päivän jälkeen kun muutettiin tänne, ei yksikään meistä ole uskaltanut oikein kunnolla elää. Eikä kuolla.”

– pohjalainen talonpoika -

(“Ever since the day we got here, not one of us has really dared to live. Or to die.” – Northern Finnish peasant - )

Tags: haunting horror films, Antti-Jussi Annila, Evil Rising, Finnish horror, Sauna, Ville Virtanen

Tags: 75mins , Blood , Booze , gore , Gray J. Tunnicliffe , Horror , Low Budget , Pinhead , Profanity , R , Tits , Victor Garcia, 2011 , Sexuality

Jerry Blake is a successful real estate man who values his job, his clients, and above all else, his family. Jerry Blake is also a homicidal maniac who drifts from town to town leaving slaughtered families in his wake. Hey, it's cheaper than divorce and at least in this scenario one party gets to walk away happy.

On the surface The Stepfather is typical 80s pseudo-slasher fare wrapped in the guise of a suburban thriller. Deeper though, it is a study in modern serial killers.  We aren't talking about the "he was always the quiet type" serial killer, but instead the " Jesus Jumping Christ!, he used to walk me to my car after work serial killer”... and that is what makes the film a successful entry into the genre… successful enough to spawn multiple sequels and a remake.

Terry O Quinn, who most of the audience will recognize as the sage-like philosopher and survivalist John Locke from tv's Lost, plays Jerry, a husband that any divorcee would count herself lucky to meet… and all Jerry wants is for his family to exist in harmony, living the American dream. Enter his new wife's teen daughter, who's all like " whatever, whatever, you don't know me... You ain't my daddy.. I do what I want!" and suddenly Jerry's dreams start to shatter...oh and remember that bit about him being a serial murderer.. Yeah, that too... Cuz it looks like Jerry's old brother -in-law is also on a mission of vengeance to track down Jerry in his new personna and finally put and end to his driftin and mass murderin ways.

It's O'Quinn who sells this film and we are reminded of his acting chops every time Blake's veneer starts to break and we see the monster underneath. He is also the reason the film, which might have easily fallen through the cracks with similar films of the same period in the late 80s went on tto make such an impression with the video rental audience.

Despite some rather typical and paint-by-numbers direction from Joseph Rubin and a score that falls somewhere between an aerobics video and a cheap porno, The Stepfather is a worthwhile watch and at the risk of looking too deep into the film's core a worthwhile examination of the death of the nuclear family unit and it's flawed ideals, and maybe just a little superfluously how maniacs often masquerade as Ward Cleaver in suburban America.

Tags: 80s horror, Joseph Rubin, The Stepfather

I am a huge fan of "what if" films. What if the alien from Alien went up against a rough and tumble group of Space Marines? What if Freddy actual fought Jason? What if a zombie was cognizant and if that zombie were you, what would you do? The Revenant, starring David Anders and Chris Wylde not only answers that question but does so in such a gleeful fashion that you might wonder why we have had to sit through so many uninventive zombie movies when offerings such as this are on the table. I'm not going to say that it reinvents the zombie film but it manages to be so much fun that you could care less what it reinvents as long as it keeps doing what it does and it pretty much manages to do that for the bulk of its running time.

"...it manages to be so much fun that you could care less what it reinvents as long as it keeps doing what it does"

Its the middle of the night in war ravaged Iraq and Bart and the rest of his platoon are driving their humvee to an undisclosed location when Bart hits, what he believes to be a child, standing in the middle of the road. Much to the displeasure of his men Bart leaves the safety of the vehicle to check on the child only to get gunned down, shot in the head, and subsequently shipped back to the states for burial, leaving his man-child best friend and pining girlriend mourning his untimely death.

We all have friends like Bart's best, Joey. Friends that while we were building our careers or fostering relationships or creating families were still spending their late nights playing Xbox, eating cold pizza and borrowing their rent money from their parents. Friends that allowed us to forget our stresses at work, the complications of our marriage or the doldrums of PTA meetings and slip back into those years where responsibilities took a back seat to having fun and plain old fucking off. These friends, while they may encourage us to call in sick to work or lie to our spouses about where we went drinking sometimes represent the last bastion of hope that our youth is still accessible, just within reach for us to pick up and try on for size when the pressures of the adult world become too much. sometimes, however, they are the proverbial bag of bricks that tumble across the ocean floor, pulling us down and slowing our progress now matter how hard we try to swim against their weight. Bart, for all of his good intentions and ambitions, just couldn't pull free of the gravity of Joey's lethargy, even in death, and that, is exactly where he winds up after clawing his way to thhe top of the fresh dirt covering his coffin.

Enter the smart divergence where The Revenant decides to play it loose and instead of Joey grappling with the horror of finding out that his dead best friend is back from the grave with a taste for fresh blood, he revels in it, seeing his new friend's apparent invulnerabilities as an opportunity to elevate his own status. Wylde tears the role open as the two do what any self respecting team of zombie and human would do: they take arms and become fly-by-night vigilantes.. Robbing the dreggs of society...of their blood. It is this portion of the film that will immediately win most detractors over as the duo hop from convenience store to urban locale, easily putting themselves in the middle of heist, robbery and drug deal, soon enjoying the monetary fringe benfits as they lift more than plasma from their victims. This horror send up of Robin Hood works so well that, in fact, the movie could have relied on this one device alone to propel it to cult status.

Early on however we get the inkling that nothing good lasts forever. Bart, although dead, is still trying to carry on as thou death is just a temporary setback. When not robbing petty crooks of the red stuff, Bart is, albeit reluctantly at first, still seeing his girlfriend and as his situation brings himself closer to the limits of just what his supernatural affliction is capable of, that relationship strains the bond between he and Joey.

I'm not going to highlight The Revenant as the viewer really needs to see the film with a fresh pair of eyes that allows them to experience the surprises firsthand. Luckily, that is the word that most will walk way with after seeing the film: SURPRISES. The Revenant manages to pull them off with a competence rarely seen and at no point does the film seem to struggle with its ambitions. If the film will have any fault with its audience, it will be its gradual change of tone in its third act. Remember when I hinted at the subtext that "the party can't go on forever"? Well when the lights go up and it's last call on The Revenant the morose turn is noticeable and might throw people a little off the rails of the preceding roller coaster of comedy and action. this is not to say that the third act is ungrounded, unnecessary, or even unfitting of the film. It's logical and sadly a little tragic, but it is framed in such an explosion of violence and weirdness that the climax takes this horror comedy and gives it a very real and disturbing resonance.In other words, even if you've come for the comedy, stay for the horror. The Revenant has already cemented it's place in my top 5 of 2012 and I expect that upon further viewings it will secure a place among my all time favorites. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

The Revenant hits dvd tomorrow September 18th, 2012.

Tags: Chris Wylde, David Anders, horror-comedy, Kerry Prior, Lionsgate Entertainment, zombie movies, The Revenant