Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Why it’s ok to think “Get Out” is a derivative shit sandwich…

Why it’s ok to think “Get Out” is a derivative shit sandwich…

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While the love of certain horror films is often a no brainier to me there are others that leave me stupefied when embraced by the masses. Jordan Peale’s “ Get Out” falls squarely into the latter for me and although I don’t exactly hate it, it does little to support the genre that has so kindly taken it under its wing.

Let’s start off by stating the obvious; Get Out is very clearly a retread of concepts that were executed far better and had far more novelty than Peale’s “groundbreaking masterpiece”.

 

  1. The Stepford Wives – far more relevant than Get Out, TSW plays to a prejudice that transcends race, geography, culture and time. The War of the Sexes rages on and despite what the media would have us believe, represents a challenge to a far greater percentage of the population than the protagonists in Get Out. The iconic Stepford Wives had an insidious air that permeated every frame and unfortunately for fans of that film, Get Out offered very little in the way of surprises. I have seen far more horror films that were able to play upon the tropes of the genre to its benefit and deliver twists that were unpredictable, shocking and and more disturbing than the very paint-by-numbers Get Out.
  2. Invasion of the Body Snatchers – for those of you that didn’t draw that parallel, “are you fucking kidding me?” Body Snatchers is THE ultimate nightmare in the realm of identity theft. C’mon, Sutherland pointing and that scream?!?!?! Body Snatchers is terrifyingly unnerving and above else, paranoia inducing. The idea of identity is one that hangs by a tenuous thread for many people. Although Get Out had its moments, excuse if I’m not terrified by the idea of my identity swapping ceremony being preceded by weeks of getting bed down by a hot little shot o’ ass whose parents just paid our rent for an Arbor Day gift….ooohhhhh scaaarrryyy.

Cantankerous old white people are hiding behind every corner just waiting to piss in your Cheerios and fuck up your day. Jeeeeeeeeeeezuuuuuuus. Guess what? The world is fuckin racist. Oh yeah. A Lotta white people are racist as hell. So are a lot of black people. Asians? Fuck yeah, they’re racist too. I know a Samoan from middle school that had more “how many Mexicans does it take” jokes in his comedic arsenal than Trump has finger extensions in his overnight bag. Prejudice SUCKS, but it’s EVERYWHERE. It connects with every race, every gender, every culture. Hey, here’s a new concept: EVIL people are waiting around the corner waiting to fuck up your day. So, it’s all white dude with the red Swingline stapler from Office Space’s fault?!?!?! FUCKING YAWN. THAT is your reveal?!?!?! Christ on a crutch…at least take a page from J.K. Rowling and throw a fuckin basilisk in there to keep it interesting. Sigh. That being said, I don’t trust rich old white people as far as I can throw em…especially if they’re Jewish…and don’t get me started on the Irish.

get-out-jordan-peale-movie-posterGet Out is quite simply, an EASY OUT. For a well directed, well written film, THAT, in my opinion is its biggest offense. With so many good performances, for Get Out to choose the path, which quite simply is so utterly predictable, negates much of its good qualities.

So, with a 99% on Rotten Tomatoes I can’t be the only one to notice this film’s shortcomings, can I? In fact, I can’t also be the only person to notice not a single positive white character in the entirety of the movie, can I? Hey, I understand. Well I guess I sorta do. Who would I be if I criticized a movie that portrayed such a strong social theme that exemplified the fears of a culture that has been constantly stereotyped throughout the ages? Well, I would be…a…critic. Which is what I am. I am not afraid to say that films like “Get Out” could take the road less travelled and actually weave a narrative with strong black characters that tell a horror story that HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH RACE. I want to see more of THAT. I want to see characters that exist because of their qualities, not their colors.

So sure, we now have a movie that reflects the temperament of a nation at a particular time in history. We have a horror film that was praised by critics for that very fact. We also have a film that stood on the the backs of its predecessors and offered nothing more than a commentary that was so OBVIOUS in its execution that it can be summed up in a Twitter stream or a profile update. THAT’S scary.

Review – The Void (2016)

Review – The Void (2016)

There is a large and ever-growing trend in horror right now that involves not only paying homage to the horror movies of the 80s but trying to replicate them in almost every sense. The novelty is one that I welcomed. 80s horror is the driving force behind my obsession with and love for the genre.… Continue Reading

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Review – Don’t Kill It (2016)

Review – Don’t Kill It (2016)

Despite the novelty of Dolph Lundgren playing a demon hunter in the American south, the idea of Don’t Kill It initially wasn’t all that appealing to me. Let me then start off by saying, “don’t let the all too familiar photoshopped dvd cover art fool you, Don’t Kill It is not only a worthwhile find… Continue Reading

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Review – Don’t Knock Twice (2017)

Review – Don’t Knock Twice (2017)

A strange house on a piece of wasteland, a years old rumour of witchcraft and missing children. An ex junkie artist and her estranged daughter who’s boyfriend has disappeared in bizarre circumstances. A young mother who seems to know more than she’s letting on and a Police Detective who might not be all he appears…… Continue Reading

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10 Christmas Movies for Horror Fans

10 Christmas Movies for Horror Fans

10. The Corridor (2010) Is there a better time to reconnect with old friends than the holidays? Is there a better time to hole up in a cabin amidst a whole lotta the white stuff (back off junkies we aint talkin about dat sweet, sweet cola you crave) whilst figuring out that there is a band… Continue Reading

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Review – Volumes of Blood: Horror Stories (2016)

Review – Volumes of Blood: Horror Stories (2016)

It’s always interesting to watch the evolution of a horror franchise. We get to see the growth of characters, of mythologies, and even the creators involved. The latter is of particular interest to VOB: Horror Stories because anthologies function on a much different principle than sequels that continue a single narrative. With that in mind,… Continue Reading

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Review – Rob Zombie’s ’31’ (2016)

Review – Rob Zombie’s ’31’ (2016)

A part of me, strangely,  wants to physically fight Rob Zombie. Ok, I should probably clarify this. For those of us a little longer in the tooth, we have probably all had that ONE friend. That one friend who was undoubtedly smarter, wittier, and infinitely more talented than we were. That one friend who just repeatedly… Continue Reading

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Review – Blair Witch (2016) or ‘Get your damn agism out of my horror’

Review – Blair Witch (2016) or ‘Get your damn agism out of my horror’

At the risk of sounding pompous or the very least a know-it-all, it is hard to be over 35 in the US right now and not feel like a victim of “isms”. Now, before you start nodding, I’m not actually talking about what these “isms” represent, but the very idea that we are assaulted, constantly… Continue Reading

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Almost 25 Years Later Hellraiser 3 is still a bag of Dicks…

Almost 25 Years Later Hellraiser 3 is still a bag of Dicks…

There are some films that despite the apologies, despite the repeated attempts at revisiting, despite pleas from fans I just plain hate and there isn’t much of anything that can be done about it. One particular little gem is 1992’s Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth. I really love the first two Hellraiser films. Barker’s original… Continue Reading

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Video Review – Stranger Things (2016)

Video Review – Stranger Things (2016)

Undoubtedly probably the biggest thing that has taken the horror world by surprise and by storm , (I’m not counting the Blair Witch announcement at SDCC btw) has been the Duffer Brothers’ ‘Stranger Things’. Critically well received and a hit amongst fans, HorrorFix decided to take a look at the Winona Ryder and Matthew Modine netflix… Continue Reading

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